


Cut and Reweave

by Lizardbeth



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Fix-It, Gen, Infinity Gems, Loki (Marvel) Angst, Parent Frigga (Marvel), Time Travel Fix-It, Tissue Warning, post-Infinity War AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 09:30:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14352705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizardbeth/pseuds/Lizardbeth
Summary: In the ruins after Thanos, Loki decides to change everything.





	Cut and Reweave

Thor knew immediately the Loki he was looking at was an illusion. Loki was wearing his combat leathers again, which he never wore on Midgard, since they were recognizable. But he stood in front of the open door to the balcony overlooking the ruins of lower Manhattan, and his eyes seemed to meet Thor’s.

“I’m sorry I have to do it this way,” he said. “But I know if I was with you in person, you would try to stop me and I can’t let you do that.”

A low cold stone of anxiety formed in Thor’s gut, slowly churning. Loki was going to do something rash, he knew it already.

Loki gave a bit of a rueful smile, as if he could see Thor’s immediate worry. “This isn’t goodbye,” he reassured Thor, and promptly spoiled it, reconsidering, “Well, I suppose it is, but it won’t last long. I had a long chat with that charlatan of magic about what he did with the Time Stone to keep it from Thanos. And he and I came to an agreement.”

He held out his right hand and uncurled his fingers to display an amulet set with a green stone. “You see, Strange doesn’t understand its full power. But I do. There are places in the warp and weft of creation, knots that can be undone and rewoven, if you know where they are. _Who_ they are.”

His eyes flicked down to the gem, and a sad, resigned smile crept across his lips. “Odin was right, you know. You weren’t there, but he told me, before he put me in that cell on Asgard, that my birthright was to die, cast out on the frozen rock of Jotunheim.”

Thor stared at the green gemstone in Loki’s hand, hearing those words and began shaking his head. “Loki, no – no, don’t, do this...”

Loki didn’t seem to hear him. “It’s clear when you look at the events of the last years, that everything leads back to me. Asgard’s dead, because of me; Midgard, in ruins, and Thanos is going to win, because of me.”

“Loki, no, it isn’t true-- We can still fight him--”

The illusion paid no attention. Perhaps it couldn’t; Loki might have set the illusion to play without interaction, giving his farewell speech while he fled.

Thor rushed past the image to the balcony, hoping desperately that Loki would be in view. Of course he wasn’t, and Thor had no idea where he might have gone to do this.

Loki continued to speak. “So you know, I meant what I said on Svartalfheim. It wasn’t a trick, and neither is this. I didn’t expect to come back then, and I certainly don’t expect it now. But this time you won’t have to mourn. You can’t miss what you never had.”

His hand curled around the Eye of Agamotto and he lifted his head, magically still facing Thor, even though Thor was on the opposite side of him now.

“Goodbye, Thor. Forgive me, if you can, but I have to undo what I’ve done. I have to rewrite time, without me in it.”

“LOKI!!!” Thor yelled. His fear and anger and anxiety pulled down the lightning, which crashed from the blue sky, through the roof, and lit up where Loki’s image stood, as the thunder boomed.

But Loki was gone.

* * *

A figure shrouded in illusion picked its way across the ice and snow.

Loki looked up, amazed by the grand height of the entrance to the temple. This was so different from the ruins he’d seen in the future.

It had taken a lot of effort to find the right moment, but he could feel he was in the right time now. The battle was still raging, and the Casket of the Ancient Winters was fighting the Odinforce, not far away.

This was the time.

There were six armored Jotnar in a circle around the altar, guarding the small bundle of furs atop it. He blinked, surprised that the baby had guards.

_So, I was not abandoned, Father? Of course there was another lie._

He wasn’t even angry about it, anymore.

He’d have to draw them away, which was easily done. He cast an illusion of himself in Aesir guise at the doors. “There’s more of them in here!” the illusion called, as if to warriors outside.

The Frost Giants moved from the altar, drawing weapons and forming up between the altar and the entrance.

Loki circled silently around the rear of the temple, keeping to the shadows while his illusion taunted the giants, staying out of weapons range and pulling them farther from the altar.

He crept up the three steps, finding he was barely tall enough to see atop the carved stone block.

The baby was tiny and only its face was visible – blue skin, barely any markings, and red eyes. Otherwise it looked like any other plump-cheeked baby.

 _This is you_ , a whisper in the back of his mind tried to remind him and Loki ruthlessly stomped it out.

The baby monster would grow up into a monster and ruin everthing. Thousands – millions – would die. Thanos would rule.

One baby was a small price to pay for that not happening.

_End it. End all of it. Do it. Save the galaxy._

Loki conjured a dagger to his hand and held it above the baby. _Stab it in the heart. Cut its throat. Kill it. Kill yourself. End everything._

His hand was trembling.

_Stop being so selfish. Is your life really worth all those others in the future? You know it’s not._

There was a real battle going on at the door now. Odin’s soldiers had fought their way here. There was no more time. If these guards were cut down, it was fate that Odin himself would enter. He would take the baby and the timeline would reform, and this would be for nothing.

_I can’t murder a baby._

_It’s not murder; it’s suicide, if anything. Pest control. This thing will grow into a monster, destroy it now._

The scarlet eyes looked straight at him as if the illusions weren’t there at all, and the baby smiled toothlessly with such innocent joy, Loki’s arm lowered the dagger. He put it away, and impetuously scooped the baby into his arms instead.

 _This is crazy. What am I doing? I need to kill it, not_ **save** it. _Suffocate it, snap its little neck--_

Loki smothered that voice that was starting to sound too much like the voice that haunted his nightmares, and held the baby to his chest. He spun illusion around them both so they could escape the temple.

Outside, unseen by either side he could lay claim to, he lowered the baby enough to look into his face. Another skein of seidr settled into the baby, and the blue and red faded away into what was more familiar.

_Ah there I am. I can’t kill you. You would think I would be cold enough to do this, but I can’t. So what should I do with you?_

If not death, then what? The answer was simple, once he had the baby in hand.

_I will change the future, not with death, but a new life. This baby will become not a son of Laufey or Odin, but someone else. I will have to take him to Asgard, because a mortal will just burn the immortal for a witch, but I will grow up ordinary._

_Instead of the Tragic Tale of Thor and Loki, there will be the Grand Epic of Prince Thor and, perhaps, a village story of the Mischievous Woodcutter’s Son or the Stableboy. That will be enough._

He felt the Odinforce and turned to see Odin, eye freshly wounded, wading into the Frost Giants with Gungnir ablaze before the temple doors.

As if he sensed something, Odin whirled to look in Loki’s direction, his good eye staring right at him.

His heart felt tight and painful at the sight. _Father._ He looked so fierce and strong, not young, but not like the infirm, old man Loki had last seen.

Frowning now – perhaps Odin was powerful enough to notice the eddies of time itself swirling around Loki, or he sensed the Time Gem – Odin headed straight toward Loki.

_Shit._

Loki backed away, ducking behind a column, his heart starting to race. _I have to get away, right now._

Sending a double out to draw Odin’s attention, he backed around the column the other way, so he could find a path to Laufey’s compound and beyond that, to the ice river where the crack to Asgard was.

A strong hand seized his shoulder and yanked him around, to face the infuriated, frightening visage of Odin All-Father.

“You. Explain yourself!” he demanded. His eye flared, seeing the baby. “What do you have there?”

“My, uh, son, All-Father,” Loki stammered, “Laufey stole him, so I’m stealing him back.”

The hand, no longer weak with age, tightened, and Gungnir’s power thrummed in the air, against Loki’s skin. “You lie,” Odin declared without hesitation, and Loki swallowed hard. “Everything about you is _wrong_. Who are you and why are you taking an infant?”

“It’s Laufey’s get,” Loki blurted out. “I transfigured him into Aesir. I was going to bring him to Asgard.”

Odin blinked his good eye. “Why would you do such a thing?”

Loki licked his lips and figured at this point, he might as well tell the truth, or at least the important part. “Because… I know what has to happen. I’m from a dark, terrible future, trying to put it right.”

Odin glanced at the baby’s face, held in the crook of Loki’s elbow. “This child?”

Loki gave a bitter laugh. “He looks innnocent now, but monstrous things happen because of him. I thought about killing him, but I can’t. He needs to be raised in a home that will love him.”

“I see. Give him to me,” Odin commanded. “I will find a good home for him.”

Loki couldn’t protest, not when Odin used that voice, nor as he took the baby wrapped in its furs in one arm and glanced down, a smile playing at his lips as one tiny fist escaped to wave in the air. Odin set Gungnir in the ice and used that hand to tuck the hand back inside the fur wrap. It was such a natural fatherly gesture, it surprised Loki until he realized, of course, both his children were already born.

“Where did you find him?”

“In the Temple,” Loki answered. “Left on the altar.”

“I see. Your name?” Odin asked.

Loki thought it wouldn’t matter since he would cease to exist as soon as his own timeline was broken, but he was enough unsure to shake his head. “I shouldn’t tell you.”

Odin gave him a respectful nod. “You have proved yourself worthy, Traveler. May you find peace in the hall of warriors.”

Loki froze. _Worthy._ Then he wanted to laugh – didn’t it figure it was only his final act that garnered what he’d always wanted to hear?

“You also, All-Father.” He started away and then turned back. “Some advice? I know you will find it difficult to discipline Thor after what happened to Hela --” He enjoyed Odin’s start and stare of surprise, “But if you don’t, he becomes a hotheaded idiot, who lives for battle and glory. Be wary.”

Unable to bear looking at Odin, holding the infant version of himself with such tender care, Loki strode away, veiling himself in illusion to watch as the Bifrost blazed and Odin returned to Asgard with the child.

_Why am I still here? Perhaps the timeline won’t change until someone else adopts me, that makes sense. I just have to wait._

He tapped his foot impatiently, as he waited. When he looked at the amulet, the Time Stone was dull, and he sensed nothing of himself unraveling or changing. Perhaps using the stone had protected him from paradox and if he returned to the new, improved future he could co-exist with his other self? Or perhaps his other self had died young or something else would happen that meant there was no paradox?

He was about to go to the future and test his new hypothesis, but decided he should first go to Asgard and see where infant not-Loki had been placed, to make it easier to find himself in the future.

He arrived in the middle of what he presumed was a victory celebration for the end of the war with Jotunheim. Until he pushed his way toward the front of the crowd in the throne hall to see Odin and Frigga in full formal regalia as they presented their second son, Prince Loki.

No. He must have misheard. This couldn’t be. This wasn’t what he’d wanted. This just perpetuated the horror, nothing would change. Thanos would rule.

He gathered seidr in his fist, preparing to strike - he would kill the infant from here. End it before it began.

He pulled his arm back, ready to throw, when Frigga’s eyes flicked to his. She looked at him, frowning, gathering the baby closer to her defensively.

His hand dropped back to his side, letting go of the power. He couldn’t hurt her; he wouldn’t. Not even for this.

Her expression shifted from less worried to more puzzled, as she looked at him, and he felt her magic reach toward him, wondering who he was and where that power came from…

Turning, he pushed at the crowd, trying to get through and escape. In the eastern garden, he sat on the rim of the fountain and looked at the amulet, wanting to laugh bitterly.

His interference had made it happen. The circle was complete. He’d doomed himself, and the future. Was there any way left to change it? Or was this all just a bad jest of the Norns, to offer him hope before snatching it away once more?

A soft footstep across the paving stones roused him. Night had fallen, and the floating lights cast a silvery glow across the water and the flowers surrounding the courtyard.

Frigga’s voice murmured, “What were you trying to do?”

He didn’t – couldn’t- turn to look at her or he would lose his nerve. “You have to give him up. Have someone else raise him, anyone, it doesn’t matter who. He can’t grow up here, can’t be your son--” His voice cracked, and he had to stop speaking, memories of his last conversation with her cutting through him.

“Why?” she asked softly.

He held out his hand to display the amulet. She drew in a sharp breath of recognition. “Because I know what happens.”

She settled on the stone seat near him. “Something so terrible you would use the Time Gem to come back to murder an infant.”

“I thought I could. But I’m too weak. Too... sentimental.” He let out a bitter laugh. How many times had he enjoyed throwing that in Thor’s face, when it turned out the only one weak with sentiment was Loki? “You’d think when it counts I could actually be the villain everyone thinks I am anyway.”

She didn’t speak at first, but he felt her gaze and the brush of her magic, seeking answers about who he was. It hurt to keep shielding himself, when his heart longed to put his head in her lap and feel her hand on his hair again.

“It seems to me,” she murmured, “that murder can never be the right answer.”

“If so, then you can’t raise him, or it all happens again. Death and destruction and the end of worlds.” He held his fingers into the spray of the fountain, wishing it reminded him of life, when all he remembered was Asgard cracking apart as Surtur rose.

“Because Odin and I adopted an abandoned child?” she asked. “I would never be cruel… I don’t understand. How do we go wrong?”

All at once he was impossibly weary. Heart-sick. “You were too kind, I suppose. You kept the truth from him until it all came crashing down in madness and fury and betrayal. The truth confirmed his sense of not-belonging. Raised to hate and despise the monsters, what else could he become but a monster? From there, it unspooled.” He thought of Thor and admitted, “The horror was not all his doing, but enough that I thought if I could cut the chain here, the outcome would be different.”

“Perhaps you already have?” she murmured. “Now you’ve told me how I fail you. Loki.”

His head snapped around, and his eyes met hers. He wanted to deny it – he _should_ deny it-- but held in her gaze, he couldn’t speak. Her blue eyes were gentle and filled with wonder. “It is you,” she whispered. “My new son, all grown. So handsome.” Her hand set on his cheek, and he froze still, closing his eyes, trying to carve the memory into his brain to hold the feel of her touch forever. “And filled with such pain. I am so sorry, my son. I would never want you to hate who you are, and that you did, fills me with sorrow. I know better now; I won’t make that mistake, I promise.”

He could no longer hold the amulet; it fell right through his hand, as if it wasn’t there at all, and onto the bench. When he held up his hand, wondering how that had happened, he could see the garden through his hand, as if he was turning into one of his insubstantial illusions.

She meant it. She was going to change the future – she already had, because he was fading.

But he didn’t want this to happen _now._ Not when he was here, with her. He used what power he could, trying to keep himself there. Fate was dragging him away, and he didn’t know what would happen next. Suddenly fearful, he opened his eyes.

“It’s all right,” she reassured him. “Everything is going to be better now, my little one.”

“Tell us about Hela,” he told her hurriedly, before he lost his voice. “That secret goes badly, too.”

She nodded once in understanding and leaned in to kiss his forehead.

He could barely feel her lips, but he grabbed the feeling and held tight, as he whispered, “I love you, Mother. Forgive me.”

“There is nothing to forgive, my son. I love you, too. Be at peace.”

With her benediction, he knew it was all right to let go. He didn’t know if the future would be _better_ , but it would certainly be different, and that was all he’d wanted. He wanted to tell that infant in the palace nursery to treasure this second chance he was getting. He wouldn’t, of course; he wouldn’t even know he had one, but perhaps he’d feel it somehow.

But Frigga knew, and the sight of her face was what he took with him.

Tears in her eyes, Frigga watched as the translucent ghost of her son from a future that no longer would happen, transformed into golden light. Streams and sparks rose up into the night, higher and higher until they were indistinguishable from the stars.

She picked up the amulet containing the Time Gem, slipped it into her pocket, and stood to find her husband. She would change the future, and spare her innocent baby all the anguish she’d seen in her grown child’s eyes.

_Your sacrifice will not be in vain, my son. And I promise I will remember you, even if no one else in the universe does._


End file.
